Lovejoy and Mrs Kim. Clash of the Antique Titans

Lovejoy was a TV show where the main character broke the fourth wall at the start of every episode. Here he is about to do it again from the Gazebo in Stars Hollow, Connecticut.

“Well, well. Where do I find myself? The beautiful town of Stars Hollow USA no less. Perhaps my mullet won’t be out of place in this tiny town. I’ve got a tip off that Kim’s Antiques over there has got what I’m looking for. Not Antique crystal chandeliers, I’d go to http://roccoborghese.com/crystal-chandeliers/borghesina-classica/ for that. Now where’s Tinker got to?”

Cut to the interior of Luke’s Diner. Tinker is leaning up against the counter like he’s a regular and is failing to buy 3 teas. “So, here we are in America! I can’t believe it myself. It’s been a while since I’ve left merry old England’s shores and on quite an adventure…”

“Look Buddy, that’s very interesting but as I said we don’t have PG Tips for a reason and it’s because we just don’t.” said an increasingly exasperated Luke.

“Yeah, nice tweed though and I love your accent” piped up an attractive brunette who was watching the whole conversation with great interest.

“Why thank you my dear, and what be your name? Mine is Tinker or Tink to my friends which you certainly can be”, said Tinker with his usual rustic charm.

“Lorelai Gilmore, um, begging you pardon, sir” replied the women.

“Ah, Lorelai, a flower by any other name hast never smelt so sweet. I’m paraphrasing of course. Coffee it is then Mr Luke, three if you please”, said Tinker. He takes the coffees and slides shiftily out of the diner.

“Damn Limeys”, mutters Luke.

“For someone who hates reenactors you sure had a good go at the battle of Bunker Hill there Paul Revere,” said Lorelai.

“Harrumph,” replied Luke.

At Kim’s Antiques things Anglo-American-Korean relationship wise were also taking a battering.

“All I’m saying”, said Lovejoy is that I cannot see how you can call that an antique when it’s only 120 years old?”.

“It is an antique! How dare you come to my place of business and say that to me. You question my honour as an antique dealer”, said an angry Mrs Kim. But then she always seemed to be just below rage anyway.

“Look, Love…,” said Lovejoy immediately regretting it, he could have got away with it back home.

“I am not your love! You late 1980’s antique dealers are all the same. Nothing but fornicators and Playboys. And you! Be careful! You break, you pay!” Snapped Mrs Kim. This was directed at Eric, Lovejoy’s assistant as he bumbled around trying to stealthily look for what they were after.

It was at this point that Tinker bustled in, brushed against a Vase, and watched in slow motion as it fell to the floor.

“No luck recovering the stolen cabinet of Lady Janes with all her jewels in then?” He asked.

“No,” said Lovejoy. “But I am about to buy the fragments of a cheap knock off Ming vase”, he said giving Mrs Kim his most winningest smile.

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Gagan

Welcome! I'm Gagan. This is my lifestyle blog developed to health, technology, business, home improvement and all the in-betweens. I hope you will enjoy my daily style and never boring life!